Thursday, August 12, 2010
I've found joy...
quite easily now I've stopped to look....in the simple things.
Is it any surprise...really?
After all the drama and grief of late it really is no surprise it is indeed the simple things I have turned to to rediscover my joy.
Lately amidst it all there has been the elation in finding green tree frogs hiding in my bromeliads...
and just a little disappointment in finding this one who has only one battle scarred eye. But alas his beauty and green-ness and mere presence in my space is proof enough of the welcoming environment my garden provides to such delicate little beings...joy indeed I tell you!
And in addition to that there is the joy in teaching my girl to embroider. Oh yes.
Her own pattern drawn straight on some calico....who else but Zeus our beloved old chihuahua...who I think would truly prefer to be left alone than smothered in the love this girl needs to lavish on him. It's a funny tug of war this one. But one that has ended in a delightfully cute piece of stitching. I'm rather proud.
And then there is the joy of natural play. The kind of joy that comes after the nervousness of some serious pruning in the garden. Where the fear of the change actually ends in thankfulness for the courage....and some perfect prunings of hollow papaya and mulberry branches that make perfect drums and perfect drumsticks. A sound from heaven for sure.
Enough to go with winter garden colour and of course warmth.
The fire pit is still in use and has warmed many a toe after recent long emotional days.
And on that note I must say sorry for seeming so cryptic of late....
and without trying to continue on that theme....thank you for the wishes of wellness over the last two weeks.
I am seeing the end of the journey I hope.
Without ethically and legally saying too much....my job involves caring for those with an inability to do so themselves and who are therefore vulnerable and dependent in so many unimaginable ways.
It took until now to realise that the vulnerability I support and protect in others also stretches to reach myself.
Sometimes the very thing we work to prevent happens and we need to bid farewell and in doing so take a good look at ourselves, our morals, our fortune, our reasons, our strengths and our weaknesses. Sometimes things happen that make us revisit and question and frighteningly be questioned. It shakes us.
Sometimes things happen that make us wonder why we even do what we do....briefly. Sometimes they happen, I have realised, to confirm why we do what we do.
Sometimes an ending for some leads to, I believe, flight...
and eventually joy.
What is your joy right now?