so far...

I love school holidays.
The slow pace...
the pyjama's until lunch time...
the baking...
and the making....

Block rockets of course for the boy...
complete with stones for fire because a rocket must have the fire coming out of it's turbo boosters...did you know?


and of course there's the extra time for the garden.
And the girl has been working on the same at school...
which has carried over to the holidays too...
makes a Mama very happy.
So far, so good.

beaches and books

I'm back from Byron
and was straight into the books.
Another exam down now...
no seaglass was found while I was away
but there's a lighthouse
shining
somewhere.
Can you see it on the distant cape up there?

sea glass

I'm off in search of sea glass tomorrow...
Rubbish carelessly discarded then tossed, trustingly, by the wilds of the sea and sand, smoothing it's broken and jagged edges until it is a gem... ruined by man... a treasure of nature.
A bit like me.
Sunday I saw in 39 years tossing around in this universe. And let me tell you it was indeed quite a weekend of tossing around! Dinner, comedy, nightlife, 3am, family, half naked men sharing their skills in a ring, breakfast, cakes and a long long driveway at the farm filled with balloons and banners in my name! I don't think I've ever felt quite so loved by so many as this Birthday... and all over three days! I tell you I am blessed after all.
But tomorrow it is down time. Beach combing. Sea glass hunting.
A recovery of sorts. A breath.
Though a working holiday it is, I think the mecca that is Byron Bay is just the place for me to smooth my jagged edges for a bit, allow myself to be tossed again in the wilds of the sea for a week and then return home... hopefully another step closer to being my own little piece of sea glass.

yesterday

Yesterday it rained.

A steady all day kind of rain.

It was a day for nesting indoors

and drinking tea

and listening to the lorikeets gently chattering as they gorged their colourful selves on the fruits from my golden canes.

It's how I know it's almost April.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

steadying myself

"Mama has the earth moved?"
That was the first question I was greeted with this morning as a sleepy eyed three year old boy ran in to me in the kitchen, fresh from dawn cloud gazing.
Of course it was just the clouds that were visibly moving... but little did he know just how timely his observation was for this Mama.
You see the earth has moved...metaphorically....right under my feet.
The demons that plagued this little family here won out just before Christmas and those demons saw me here managing alone with my babes and a big wound in my heart.
It's funny almost 4 months on that I feel I can finally put it out here now. Not that the earth has quite stopped moving on me yet... no way, those complications seem to have their exhausting way of prolonging their untangling.... but it just hasn't felt right before to share this change here, even though as a result this blog has also outwardly changed somewhat in focus, feel and commitment during that time. I wonder if you felt it?
I'm hoping now to turn that right around, though there may be more soul sharing in amongst it all as I travel and ever so hesitantly explore this scary path further. So as those clouds still blow overhead, the first guava's fall from our tree, the autumn snow peas poke their heads through the earth and the girls lay perhaps the last of their summers eggs, and as we prepare ourselves for the cool of winter ahead, I will continue to steady myself on this shaky new ground until the earth moves right around to spring for me again.

Monday, March 21, 2011

bassinettes, beads, bellies and babes

There's a new little soul about to join our clan in just a month or so
and we've been busy trying to honour the Mama-to-be in just the right ways.
The century old bassinet has re-emerged, waiting, fluffed and filled with images for every Mama-past of this family of their own sweet newborns tucked tenderly within it... myself and my own included.
We've celebrated in her home by filling it with loving friends each supporting and connecting with her through wishes, stories, henna, maybe a few cupcakes and a precious strand of birthing beads....
and again later we've symbolically shared and extended that connectedness amongst this tight clan of ours with henna too.... even though the men folk may have found the car racing just as enticing after... the imagery of them above touches my heart in the warmest way.
Our beautiful Jen is about to join the blessed ranks of Motherhood
and she is entering it surrounded by the most amazing women friends and loved ones...
and one sister whose soul is just shining to bursting for her right now.

Monday, March 7, 2011

the last of summer

We've been munching melons...
straight from our garden.

Opportunistic rogues who made themselves at home here thanks to my Summer compost shuffles and garden renovations.
The last juicy fruits of the season it feels like as today saw me in my morning spot outside with my hot tea at 6am...with sleeves! Yes sleeves.
There's a chill in that breeze that's come to visit for a few days after the rain.
So with thoughts of Winter veg in my head the garden has been planted again while fare welling the last of Summer...

other than just one more taste of melon that's stored in my fridge...
and welcoming what is to come with the Autumn.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

gathering

I've been finding myself gathering things.
Flowers seeds shells leaves feathers.... and strength.
But it's all the seeds from the garden, aside from their own abundance and beauty and purpose,
that have me thinking most.
There is something about their cycles and potential.
How much potential there is within a single one is something quite astounding.
And as I quietly gather and admire these seeds from my garden
I am also aware that to a certain extent I am gathering them for within myself as well right now
A little symbolism of life lately...
Gathering up exhaustingly for the harsh Winters of existence and hopefully awaiting the potential of a new Spring and a deep exhalation.
For like those I gather from the garden,
the seeds we gather for our souls can only attract the most beautiful things into the gardens that lie within us as well... right?

Sunday, February 6, 2011

sunset

the sun is noticeably shifting again
sunset is reaching the sill of my kitchen
and from the other direction sunrise is casting crystal rainbows through the same
it's still all about the flowers from my garden here
and sun
and heat
and trips to the sea
but then it is February now after all

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